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rosebeeFor some as yet unknown reason, I am in a serious funk today.
It's bothering me. Not only do I get the fun & joyous feelings of rejection, worthlessness, and unlovable, but I can't even figure out the hell why I'm feeling this way. I know none of those things are even remotely close to being true. And on any normal day I wouldn't give those things a moment's notice.
Maybe it has to do with my entertainment choice last night. DC was good, but it was also very sad, made me cry, and sent me off into a whole mental introspection place. I watched the A&E thing on Buffy afterwards, but when I went to bed when I finished that, was still not in a happy mental place. Perhaps all those feelings and subconscious thoughts from last night percolated over night while I slept and are now surfacing today to cause me grief.
And I'm not even busy enough at work where I can just bury myself in that and forget about all of this. Things are really quite slow & boring today, which ends up leaving me with way too much time to think and stew.
Maybe it's all of those things, combined with a few too many nights in a row of not enough sleep.
I think I need to go home and watch several hours of sparkly dance boys, MSG, Reel Nsync, and maybe Egos & Icons. But, until the clock hits 5 (at least it's only another 3 hours), I'll have to make to with some nice cheesy, upbeat, Euro!Sync music.
And of course, I have a meeting tonight. It's for a group I really believe in, and one that means a lot to me (they train volunteers & run a once-a-year 3 day camps for boys & girls that've been sexually abused). Tonight is week 2 of the new spring training session. Traditionally there's always been training in August, but this year we're doing an extra one. And since I'm on the board of directors type committee that runs the organization, I really kinda have to be there tonight. Especially since this spring training session is so new that there's not very many people there. So, I want to be there, because this group and what they do is so very, very important to me and close to my heart. But, I'm NOT in the mood to go socialize with a bunch of people I don't know (even if it is a small group, today's just not the day I'd pick).
So, I really hope I can come up with something to pull myself up out of this funk.
I suppose this is the time for me to be very thankful that I'm normally an extremely upbeat & cheerful person and I don't have to go through this very often.
It's bothering me. Not only do I get the fun & joyous feelings of rejection, worthlessness, and unlovable, but I can't even figure out the hell why I'm feeling this way. I know none of those things are even remotely close to being true. And on any normal day I wouldn't give those things a moment's notice.
Maybe it has to do with my entertainment choice last night. DC was good, but it was also very sad, made me cry, and sent me off into a whole mental introspection place. I watched the A&E thing on Buffy afterwards, but when I went to bed when I finished that, was still not in a happy mental place. Perhaps all those feelings and subconscious thoughts from last night percolated over night while I slept and are now surfacing today to cause me grief.
And I'm not even busy enough at work where I can just bury myself in that and forget about all of this. Things are really quite slow & boring today, which ends up leaving me with way too much time to think and stew.
Maybe it's all of those things, combined with a few too many nights in a row of not enough sleep.
I think I need to go home and watch several hours of sparkly dance boys, MSG, Reel Nsync, and maybe Egos & Icons. But, until the clock hits 5 (at least it's only another 3 hours), I'll have to make to with some nice cheesy, upbeat, Euro!Sync music.
And of course, I have a meeting tonight. It's for a group I really believe in, and one that means a lot to me (they train volunteers & run a once-a-year 3 day camps for boys & girls that've been sexually abused). Tonight is week 2 of the new spring training session. Traditionally there's always been training in August, but this year we're doing an extra one. And since I'm on the board of directors type committee that runs the organization, I really kinda have to be there tonight. Especially since this spring training session is so new that there's not very many people there. So, I want to be there, because this group and what they do is so very, very important to me and close to my heart. But, I'm NOT in the mood to go socialize with a bunch of people I don't know (even if it is a small group, today's just not the day I'd pick).
So, I really hope I can come up with something to pull myself up out of this funk.
I suppose this is the time for me to be very thankful that I'm normally an extremely upbeat & cheerful person and I don't have to go through this very often.
Re:
Date: 2003-05-15 05:19 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-05-15 05:26 pm (UTC)