tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-04-11:37574rosebeerosebeerosebee2010-10-06T21:20:04Ztag:dreamwidth.org,2009-04-11:37574:470386Patience? What's that?!2010-10-06T21:20:04Z2010-10-06T21:20:04Zpublic0Waiting the 5 weeks for my hearing aid/audiologist appointment is trying my patience.<br /><br />Now that I know there's something out there that may potentially help me hear better, and reduce the stress & strain I experience in my daily life I want to go try it out rightnowplsthx!<br /><br />Hard to believe it's Wednesday already!<br /><br />This past weekend was good - Saturday involved chores (laundry), shopping (Clinique, I was good & behaved myself to only replacing 3 things), and a birthday party for my ASL teacher's mom.<br /><br />Sunday was Pilates in the morning, ASL practice in the afternoon, and then roller skating in the evening.<br /><br />Because my legs were already tired from the pilates I did that morning, I could feel my legs muscles starting to complain after only a few laps. At one point even though I knew I was overdue for a break I pushed on to do just one or two more laps... and promptly fell on my ass when someone sped by me and startled me. Ah well. That was 3 days ago, and at least it hurts less than when I did the same thing 2 weeks ago.<br /><br />I started my light box for my SAD as I was starting to notice the effects of getting too sleepy too early in the evening, and having difficulty actually waking up during the day. I love that just 15 or 20 minutes in front of the box can have such a great effect. Bonus of being on Cymbalta now is that I was able to start my light at the end of September instead of the end of August!<br /><br />I've watched 1 episode each of Blue Bloods and Undercover. Undercover I'll give a few more episodes to see if I like it enough to continue, but Blue Bloods I'll be watching no matter what as Donnie Wahlberg is in it. :) As always Dancing With the Stars owns my soul on Monday and Tuesday nights!<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=rosebee&ditemid=470386" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentstag:dreamwidth.org,2009-04-11:37574:465816Happy Friday!!2010-08-13T21:50:23Z2010-08-13T21:50:23Zpublic0I got to bed early, and got a really good night's sleep! :D I have fun things planned for tonight & this weekend, too!<br /><br />And NEXT weekend MrB & I are going to go camping! Of course that means that we get to spend part of this weekend gathering the necessary supplies and packing the non-perishables, as we leave right after work on Thursday.<br /><br />In health news - I LOVE my psychiatrist, and I LOVE Cymbalta. My Dr gave me a clean bill of (mental) health and said to come back in two months. Then we'll have idea of how my newly-diagnosed depression, Cymbalta, and my previously existing S.A.D. all interact together.<br /><br />I've gotten hooked on Lie To Me. It's a fascinating premise, and a very interesting show. :)<br /><br />A little over 2 hours and then I get to start my weekend! YAAYY!!<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=rosebee&ditemid=465816" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentstag:dreamwidth.org,2009-04-11:37574:464376YAY! :)2010-08-01T17:41:45Z2010-08-01T17:41:45Zchipperpublic2Birthday party was yesterday. :)<br /><br />I got lots of fun things. New in-the-canal earbuds (MUCH more comfy than the ones that came with my ipod), Star Trek:Reboot on BluRay, Sim3:World Adventures, a new ipod speaker/dock for work, a camp chair, plus a earrings/necklace set. :)<br /><br />Hubby likes the camp chair, but wants a higher back/neck rest, so before we go camping in 3 weeks we're going to get him a camp chair of his own. :)<br /><br />The higher dosage of my Cymbalta really seems to have kicked in (it's been 2 weeks), and it's SO nice to wake up happy and be smiling just 'cause. :D<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=rosebee&ditemid=464376" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentstag:dreamwidth.org,2009-04-11:37574:461765Drugs are my friend! :)2010-07-16T21:59:22Z2010-07-16T23:41:08Zhopefulpublic0At least Cymbalta is.<br /><br />Just got back from my psychiatrist's office.<br /><br />My Cymbalta dosage is increasing from the VERY low dose of 30 to the standard dose of 60.<br /><br />My Dr was very unsurprised to find that my body's initial repsonse to the initial low dose of Cymbalta had decreased. He says we're going to increase my dosage until we get on one that will be a good long-term maintenance level dose.<br /><br />And the feeling that my mood isn't under my own control? That it goes up & down on its own, completely unrelated to what's actually happening in reality? He says that's what depression is all about, and if people with depression could control their moods then he'd have to find something else to do.<br /><br />I was nervous about going in (thinking this wasn't enough to bother him about), but I've left feeling hopeful & relieved. :)<br /><br />Now I just hope the higher dosage kicks in soon enough that I can *really* enjoy the Adam Lambert concerts I'm going to next week!<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=rosebee&ditemid=461765" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentstag:dreamwidth.org,2009-04-11:37574:461314The body is strange & interesting...2010-07-14T17:46:31Z2010-07-14T17:46:31Zpublic0My mood for the last two weeks has been doing strange things unrelated to what's actually going on in my life. I know this means it's time for my antidepressant dosage to get adjusted.<br /><br />For the last week especially I've had 2 or three bad down days followed by a couple of good/happy days.<br /><br />How a neurochemical imbalance in my brain can affect so many different things in my body is interesting. First & foremost there's the changes in my mood that I can't really control or bring myself out of. But then there's also the worsening heartburn, when my diet hasn't changed.<br /><br />And there's the return of my insomnia. Insomnia that even when I take an ambien CR and get knocked out for a full night's sleep... I still don't wake up rested. I still wake up exhausted like I barely slept.<br /><br />In two days I get to go back to my Dr to get my Cymbalta adjusted. I'm currently at the lowest possible dose, so I imagine he'll just move me up to the standard dose. Hopefully that will do the trick and I won't need to go up any higher. Right now I barely have any side effects - just a tiny little bit of occasional dizziness.<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=rosebee&ditemid=461314" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentstag:dreamwidth.org,2009-04-11:37574:460992Monday, again?!2010-07-12T15:25:34Z2010-07-12T15:25:34Zdepressedpublic0Weekend was good. Saturday was especially nice. MrB & I went out to lunch, Blockbuster, Costco, and the grocery store. Then we had a lazy afternoon/evening at home.<br /><br />Sunday we braved the Oregon Country Fair. Neither of us had ever been, and MrB said it was time this year for us to go check it out.<br /><br />It was ok. It was basically just a big Saturday Market. Some topless women (some with really pretty boob painting), one older man in g-string (::shudder::)... lots of food booths, lots of vendor booths selling various crafted items. There were 18 entertainment stages!<br /><br />Unfortunately it was so crowded & hot & dusty that we didn't feel like fighting our way through the crowds to stand in the heat to watch any of the entertainment.<br /><br />We might go again someday... if there's ever a nice 70-something degree day in mid-July. The upper 80s that we had yesterday was just WAY too hot for that kind of event (at least too hot for me & MrB).<br /><br />In other news - I've been sleeping like crap the last few nights. Last night I got to bed at 10:30 and woke up at 4:30. :( I tried to get back to sleep, but was unsuccessful. I think it's my depression acting up that's causing the poor sleep, as I've also been fighting a bad funk for the last couple of weeks. I've had some bad days, some so-so days, and a few normal/happy days. Yesterday evening the bad 'day' started, and it's still with me. Given my usual pattern, I'll have a couple days of this followed by a normal day or a few so-so days.<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=rosebee&ditemid=460992" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentstag:dreamwidth.org,2009-04-11:37574:460499YAY! Feeling better!2010-07-09T22:25:04Z2010-07-09T22:25:04Zpublic0-Made an appointment to go see my psychiatrist about a dosage increase.<br /><br />-Got outside in the sunshine for a good walk.<br /><br />-Had a great chat with a good friend on said walk.<br /><br />I'm glad I'm feeling better.<br /><br />I'm currently enjoying my afternoon break at work with a raspberry Italian Soda and strawberry shortcake. YUM! :)<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=rosebee&ditemid=460499" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentstag:dreamwidth.org,2009-04-11:37574:459737up & down again?2010-07-06T22:48:14Z2010-07-06T22:48:14Zpublic0After an amazingly fun & busy week & a half with my sister visiting, and a 3.5-day weekend from work I'm feeling the blues.<br /><br />I shouldn't be feeling blue though as far as I can tell. Exactly 2 weeks from today I FINALLY get to see Adam Lambert live & in person!!! :D I'm very excited & looking forward to this. :D<br /><br />Then just over two weeks after that I have a fun sign-language weekend planned.<br /><br />Two weeks after the ASL weekend I'm taking another 3-day weekend and MrB & I are going camping! :D<br /><br />Then in September sometime I'm going down to California to visit my grandparents.<br /><br />I was in a funk last night <span class="cut-wrapper"><span style="display: none;" id="span-cuttag___1" class="cuttag"></span><b class="cut-open">( </b><b class="cut-text"><a href="https://rosebee.dreamwidth.org/459737.html#cutid1">details under here</a></b><b class="cut-close"> )</b></span><div style="display: none;" id="div-cuttag___1" aria-live="assertive"></div><br />But, a lot can change in 2 years, and I have NO reason to panic/worry/get-an-anxiety-attack about this. Maybe if I repeat this to myself often enough it'll come true.<br /><br />I've got New Moon rented, and I don't have to return it to Blockbuster until Saturday. I've decided I like the Twilight movie better than the New Moon movie, and I like Eclipse better than both of them!<br /><br />I still really love my Cymbalta. I may have down days still... but they aren't as overwhelming & hopeless as they were before the Cymbalta. It's also easier to pull myself up & out of them. Watching Adam Lambert's American Idol performances, or his Unplugged episode, or listening to his music, or rereading any of the 4 twilight books work well to distract my mind and get me back to my happy place.<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=rosebee&ditemid=459737" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> comments